[e40]

Here's what a mentor told me many years ago:

Look for the clenching of your emotional fist. It happens before you say or do anything, and if you can recognize that and decide to delay a response until after you have time to think about an appropriate response, then you will be much better off.

It takes practice. For me, the positive outcomes from waiting reinforced the waiting behavior. I just know if I wait, it will always be better and I can respond in a way that won't make the situation worse.