[grandalf]

I suggest doing something between work and home that you enjoy and that can fully distract you from work. Some hobbies are like this... an hour doing it and you will pretty much forget your work "self". Don't feel the need for it to be productive or purposeful.

I think much of the bad stress we get in jobs comes from our deeper understanding that the work is pretty pointless or simply unimportant to us. The idea of that (pointless) thing being who we are for most of our waking life is maddening.

Also, few of us are in high status positions at work (simply because of the typical hierarchical structure) even if the job or company is prestigious. Being in a low status role creates significant fatigue, stress, and anxiety, and is often the hardest to shake off at the end of the day when we are around true equals such as friends or loved ones.

So the best thing to do is to find work that feels more like play. But if you can't manage to do that, at least force yourself to play a bit after work to take the edge off. I recommend against making it about food or drink, since indulging provides a psychological salve that mutes the stress but does not truly evict it from your consciousness the way play does.

[analog31]

Playing music does it for me. It's not just concentrating on the music itself, but also, hanging out with a group of people who are practically a different culture than the tech scene.

For instance, I have had band mates who were voluntarily homeless, or who really just don't get the whole idea of showing up somewhere for regular paid employment. Some are certifiably crazy. The problems that are so urgent to me, they react with curious amusement, or just don't even give a rat's arse.

Noting another post in the thread, the regulars at the bar are probably another such culture.