[ssanders82]

Jesus Christ. Here's a thought, treat them as people and not "a black" or "a woman". You don't have to ingratiate yourself in the fear that some random person will think you're a racist. He's just a person going about his day delivering packages. He's got his own worries and concerns and things going on in his mind.

"Is becoming a racist the best solution, so I'm able to function more effectively?" I can't tell if you're being tongue-in-cheek here or have genuine social issues. My (admittedly somewhat harsh) advice is to close your IDE and go interact - in person - with other humans.

[discombobulate]

> He's just a person going about his day delivering packages. He's got his own worries and concerns and things going on in his mind.

Of course. He could also be vigilantly looking for 'racists'. I really don't know. I'm using the theory of mind to construct a possible world view. My data set is Twitter/HN/reddit, mainly.

I would love to treat everyone like a person, but if I do I leave myself vulnerable to accusations. Since anything I do can be perverted into a racist/sexist narrative.

I'm all for empathy and kindness. Not at my own expense, though. It's a reaction to a hostile environment.

> My (admittedly somewhat harsh) advice is to close your IDE and go interact - in person - with other humans.

I've done enough of that. I want to concentrate on ideas/code/mathematics/philosophy. The abstract.

[microcolonel]

Speak your mind anyway. Many people on HN are under the same chilling effect as you. They say things they don't even believe because it's the right thing to say in coastal California.

In this day and age, you'll probably receive a couple of false accusations of racism and sexism per thousand interactions. You'll never be safe, so at least be honest.

If we're all dishonest, the tyrants win.

Aside: your postman sees people all day, he doesn't have time to assess your racial ideology (or lack thereof). Just be polite and receive your package. If he's being a dick, call him out. I had a UPS guy who would come by basically every day for a month, he'd announce my name from the package, but he'd always find a new way to mispronounce it (clearly intentional, he'd be grinning the whole time). His race never came to mind when I told him to go fuck himself when I switched to DHL.

I know that it's hard to imagine, but most non-white people are not the loony social justice types you see here and across the internet. In the U.S. West, some people are on edge w.r.t race because of their upbringing, but even then most are perfectly reasonable. You can probably tell which type of person you're working with by looking at them.

[wfo]

HN/reddit/twitter is a horrible barometer for how people act in the real world; there is no negative consequence or conflict if you attack someone or accuse someone of something online. Nobody is developing personal friendships on reddit, or posting on HN as part and parcel of what they need to do in order to get through their day.

In real life people are just trying to get through their day, and if you're decent and polite to people they will usually appreciate and reciprocate it. Black people aren't walking around hunting for racists. Nobody is walking around looking to accuse others of things in real life. The guy has a job to do and he wants to do it. He appreciates people who are nice and friendly, and doesn't appreciate people who are nasty and mean, just like anyone with a job.

You are always vulnerable to accusations, no matter what you do, no matter who you talk to. You could be accused of anything at any time. If somebody wants to be a jerk and make your day worse they can do that. But the vast majority of people don't. Walking into an interaction with someone else, almost everyone wants it to be polite and friendly. All you can do is try to do your best to treat everyone like a person and be decent. Don't let toxic Internet culture stop you from developing friendships in the real world. The environment is not hostile, even if it seems like it is because us tech people are extremely online. If something bad happens, shrug it off as the rare one-off crazy event that it is and move on.

[worldsayshi]

> HN/reddit/twitter is a horrible barometer for how people act in the real world

And still they act as powerful feedback loops going back into the real world. Let's hope it's a loop that is improving over time.

[awkward]

If you choose to focus exclusively on the abstract you choose to live in a world where all of these conflicts are permanently laid out in stark contrast. The reason your mailman, for example, has no reason to have a problem with you is because he is focused on the practical and material reality of doing his job. The reason the speaker in the article was able to respond gently is because she has a working relationship with the journalist who interrupted her.

Minus the real ties people develop between each other, and the interest in having a comfortable environment around them, human history has more than enough wrongs documented to justify everyone's anger against everyone else.

[thex10]

And now you find yourself vigilantly looking for 'people who are eager to cry racism', and now the rest of us have to tiptoe around that lest we set off your alarms and you go on some sort of defensive rampage.

See how creating a hostile environment works?

[pc86]

> > My (admittedly somewhat harsh) advice is to close your IDE and go interact - in person - with other humans.

> I've done enough of that.

I promise you haven't.

[throwaway99951]

>Here's a thought, treat them as people and not "a black" or "a woman". You don't have to ingratiate yourself in the fear that some random person will think you're a racist.

I think you need to read through this thread. People are assigning motivations to the host: "He is sexist". Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. I'm sure he'd say that he is not, but plenty of people here are saying he is. Is it crazy to think the same thing can happen to, say, the OP?

[komali2]

An easy solution is to give less fucks what other people think and just try not to be a dick.

[logfromblammo]

Most of the time. There's a monologue near the end of Team America: World Police that goes further into the nuances of it. Basically, don't be a dick, unless you're talking to an asshole.

[komali2]

Hah, I love that monologue! If we're gonna go from silly to serious though, I would argue that even when talking to an asshole, not sinking to their level is the better solution on so many levels.

[throwaway99951]

I concur.