[TheOtherHobbes]

Someone once told me that their definition of happiness was setting themselves goals they weren't sure they could reach and then exceeding them.

Kids don't need bullying. They don't need constant reassurance that they are wonderful. They don't need severe abuse when they fail.

But they do need constant challenges which are mostly achievable, with a few that aren't. They also need limits on their behaviour - as long as they're reasonable, fair, adult limits, not capricious authoritarian limits.

I suspect the underlying problem is the emotionally brutal and insanely competitive environment in schools - not just in academics or sports, but in "popularity" and status.

Promoting self-esteem is the wrong answer to that problem. The culture itself has to become more cooperative and less emotionally violent, and that's hard to do when it's a fair reflection of much of the adult culture around it.