[_delirium]

Maybe I know the wrong people, but the people I know who actually manage it best seem to be in stable relationships with a more old-school division of responsibility (though sometimes the traditional gender roles are 100% flipped). Basically, one person is in charge of finding a way to bring in money, and the other person is in charge of groceries/bills/bank/etc.--- and, importantly, each can for the most part assume that the other side of the equation isn't their responsibility, so the money-earner can assume that daily life magically stays on track, while the daily-life-maintainer can assume that money magically appears.

[grumpycanuck]

Me and the missus don't split things up that way, but I can see how it would work. However, you did hit the nail on the head: defining who is supposed to do what means you don't have to spend all sorts of time worrying about whether things are getting done by the other person. Because if they don't, it's pretty obvious. ;)