[pavel_lishin]

We have a 15 month old daughter who sleeps in a crib in our room, and my wife is a light sleeper. Baby makes a noise, wife wakes up, wife takes an hour to fall back asleep.

I keep telling her: please, sleep on the couch. Literally every time you sleep out there, you get better sleep, and feel better in the morning. But she always says no.

I wish we were one of those couples who secretly, or otherwise, slept apart at least a few nights a week.

[jacquesm]

Move crib to living room, leave wife in bed, sleep on couch. Problem solved. Been there, done that.

[pavel_lishin]

I've thought about it, but that also means that we have to retreat to the bedroom when the kid goes to sleep (7:30), and can't walk through the living room to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. until she's very deeply asleep - and even then, it might wake her up.

[jacquesm]

Hm. Some kids sleep really deep and would be fine in that situation, the best way to figure it out is to try it and to give it enough time that you know that if there is a problem it is structural and not just the adaptation period.

My eldest slept so solid that you could have fired a cannon next to him and he would have slept through it (and still does, only he's a bit large to sleep in a crib now...).

The most important factor is something to create a shade around the crib so it isn't bathed in light or receives reflected intensity changes from a tv or so.

[pavel_lishin]

I wouldn't call ours a light sleeper, but she definitely starts to stir if someone walks on the slightly-creaky parts of the floor next to her. She'll often stir a bit even if we're just going to bed, and she's woken up on occasion.

She doesn't wake up from the TV-sounds-through-an-ajar-door, but being in the same room would definitely wake her up, to say nothing of falling asleep with that sort of stimulation.

[jacquesm]

A good part of that is likely something that you can get used to, but the important factor is if your little one will get enough rest. That's something you'll know soon enough. Anyway, much good luck to you with this, you have nothing to lose by trying and if it does not work you can always simply switch back to the present situation.

[poulsbohemian]

For what it's worth, from a father of three... my ex coddled the kids in this regard. She _demanded_ absolute silence when they went to sleep. The problem is, that _trains_ the kids to need absolute silence, rather than getting accustomed to hearing the occasional sound and putting themselves back to sleep. The best things you can do, for your own well-being and theirs, is let them cry it out a bit and go about your normal routine.

[pavel_lishin]

(I wonder if you're getting downvoted for mentioning "cry it out"; the only thing more controversial in parenting is circumcision.)

Yup. We live in New York. There's no such thing as absolute silence here, and she can still hear things from the living room. We're definitely not requiring silence :P

[stevekemp]

I must admit we have a divide like that too. My wife will stir at the slightest noise, whereas I assume that a murmer or two is just a random noise and safe to ignore.

Obviously if the baby is crying heartily either of us will investigate, but I don't feel the need (most of the time) to check on him if there are sporadic gurgles, laughs, or "noise".

That said I think my wife is coming round, she's started sleeping with earplugs now so that she doesn't wake up unless there is a real "emergency".

[knicholes]

I was having issues with my kid getting to sleep through the night. It turns out that we needed some warmer pajamas and to make the baby drink as much milk as possible. After that, glorious sleep-filled nights were to be had from then on. I wish I had realized that months earlier.

[pavel_lishin]

We had the opposite problem awhile ago; we had a hot week or so in the city, and hadn't put in the AC yet - the kid kept waking up, and at one point when I went to check on her, I found her having unzipped her pajamas down to her waist and wriggled her arms out of the top part.

Making sure they're well fed is definitely a good idea; my wife was worried that she'd over-associate sleep with eating, and wouldn't sleep without eating first... but I never really saw this as a big problem. She's a baby; let her eat before bed.

But all kids are weird and different - some kids have reflux, and feeding them shortly before going to bed is going to keep them awake. Some get gassy. Some just don't like sleeping with a full stomach. That's probably the worst thing about being a new parent - you can read and listen to all the advice you want, but then you gotta figure out what actually works with yours and what doesn't.