[reckoner2]

There are professionals out there whose job it is to help out people in situations like yours. Before you make any life changing decisions I would talk to one.

CEO's, Hedgefund Managers, Sport Stars, they all talk to psychologists. Give it a try.

[dsacco]

I strongly second this suggestion. Unfortunately there is a stigma to speaking with mental health professionals, but I'm a strong proponent of doing so even when there is nothing necessarily "wrong" in your life.

Speaking as someone who just recently experienced burnout for the first time in his career (along with losing several friends in the past year), and is now taking it easy for a while, you owe it to yourself to speak to someone about what you're feeling.

You've gotten to the point where you're hiding in the bathroom with the water running so your wife doesn't know you're crying. There is no shame in admitting weakness, and you have a lot to be proud of in your position. Let people in who can help.

While you're at it, take a vacation (even if only for a few days) and clear your head. If you don't want to talk to a professional, go somewhere with your wife and talk about what you're feeling.

[chrisper]

>If you don't want to talk to a professional, go somewhere with your wife and talk about what you're feeling.

In my experience, a friend and a spouse or a parent cannot replace a psychologist. I think the reason for that is because psychologists listen differently. In whatever you are telling them, you are hiding a call for help in a sense. A friend or a wife might not spot that call for help. Additionally, a psychologist can answer better than a spouse or a friend does, I think.

Maybe that was just my experience, but I felt I had a much better talk with a psychologist than with a friend. Probably, because the barrier is much lower. Like you don't have to worry about them judging you or whatever.

[dsacco]

I agree. But if someone is resistant to professional help, then opening up to friends and family is better than nothing if they're supportive.

[jlangemeier]

The simplest analogy usually works here.

You take your car in for regular maintenance even if nothing is wrong. Is your car that much more important than your mental health?

[dogles]

I strongly agree, and add that if you don't get along with your therapist, shop around. Like most professions, practitioners range from awful to amazing.

[adventured]

> Unfortunately there is a stigma to speaking with mental health professionals

That's pretty easy to solve: you don't have to tell anyone except perhaps a spouse (who should understand once the context is fully explained).

[dsacco]

In my experience the stigma is not people struggling with judgement from others, but people struggling with judgement from themselves.

[Mz]

Not necessarily true. People might see you going to the office of the mental health professional, or leaving it. If the practice has no other purpose, it can be easy to infer you are getting some kind of mental health help.

If it is a touchy topic for you as an individual and/or if you live in a small town or otherwise have a situation where someone might see you, make the inference and make it into an issue, this can be a not insignificant logistical detail to deal with. Just because for you personally all would be fine by simply not mentioning it doesn't mean this is true for everyone.

[cookiecaper]

Yes. I see psychologists as professional manipulators-for-hire. If you're having a hard time manipulating yourself into doing what you need to do, a psychologist is trained in the arts of influence and, theoretically, knows what to say to assist you in actually doing what you know you want to do. We tell them our goals, they move us into a headspace where those goals are easier to attain.

Do be wary, though. This is a very trusted position. If you sense something is not right, or that the psychologist is moving you sideways or backward instead of forward, don't go back. Find another professional manipulator willing to manipulate you honestly.

[sharkweek]

Another vote for speaking to a therapist - Also please don't give up if the first person you talk to doesn't gel. It took me three tries to find the right therapist, and it is SO worth it.

[stefek99]

Talk to the specialist - it's kind of obvious.

Wish I was more determined and following my own advice.