[ehsankia]

So the only options are is to not have kids. What about the option where the man gives becomes the care giver, or if they both do it equally. I think the real issue here isn't so much that "there's a pay gap", but rather that this second options is usually missing. That's where the lack of equality is. Why does it always have to be women that are the caregiver and have to give up on their career?

[tomp]

Because of biology, it makes more seonse for the mother to be the primary caregiver (everything else being equal). Two reasons that I can think of:

1. The mother has to take time off (probably at least 2 weeks or so), to recover from childbirth. So there's more of an impact on the primary earner's career if that's the father.

2. If the mother breastfeeds, she spends some time doing that. If the father breastfeeds, the mother spends some time pumping the milk, then the father spends some time feeding the baby, so the time spent feeding the baby is approximately doubled.