[bleischt]

I think it's incredible how people can intuitively learn these skills. People who are considered "likable" probably have developed these qualities through social experimentation, paying attention to others' reactions in the forms of tone and body language. It demonstrates a very high level of social awareness and emotional intelligence.

[jamesrcole]

There's another possible avenue: they pick it up from the people they've grown up around, like their parents. They see how these people act and pick it up by osmosis, not necessarily with any conscious effort.

[Lich]

Yup. I tend to be very aware and conscious of how people feel based on social context and facial expressions, but I am not a likable person. People do not feel comfortable around me.

[lapsock]

> It demonstrates a very high level of social awareness and emotional intelligence.

Any reasonably average human being should have these skills as an adult. If they don't it's because something went wrong at some point, or they are on the spectrum or something like that.

[TallGuyShort]

Yeah you're really well socialized, I see.

[emddudley]

That's a rather broad brush. Not everyone picks up on these things intuitively, and personality plays a big role.

[cgriswald]

As someone who did not pick up on these things intuitively, I can say two things about myself:

1. Something catastrophic happened to me as a child that prevented the normal development of this skill. 2. As an adult, I fixed the problem by paying attention and learning through concentrated effort.

My personality, at best, seems like a consequence of these events and decisions, not a cause.