[cookiecaper]

Yeah, one of the most important things to learn is that people do not mean what they say. Frequently, they don't realize they don't mean what they say. It takes a lot of work and a good grounding in psychology to start to get some useful introspection on even our own motives, let alone the motives of others.

It's easy to say "Yes, I want harsh criticism!" Indulge this a few times and see what happens. I have been fortunate to meet one or two people who mean it and roll with it. However, most people who say this will end up reacting violently anyway, thinking of some reason why that specific thing you said was out of bounds. Never trust someone to act reasonably based on their promise to do so.

The issue of "leadership blindness", where you get tuned out because everyone you around is so interested in pleasing you and never wants to give you adverse information, is serious and real. It's one of the most important things for a company's leader to circumvent, and sadly, not very many corporate leaders have the humility to do so.

I experienced this even when I was just barely up the ladder. As soon as one starts climbing up (that is, gets any subordinates), the dynamic instantly changes.

To OP: give up on asking directly. It's not going to help. Any information you get in direct reply will be useless or worse. Do not expect to get it straight. Assume that there's a bug in your employees' log function that is causing only INFO level messages to get logged even though you asked for DEBUG. You need to think of other ways to get the data you need to run and evaluate your company objectively, knowing that `log()` is never going to work.

[tomcam]

That is a bleak answer. Upvoted because despite what the idealist in me says, I believe it to be largely true.

[bbcbasic]

I think the remedy for a company is to slowly change the culture from command and control to directed collaboration. Why do I need a team lead to apportion work if I am a senior developer? Probably I don't. Maybe the team can burn through work and collaborate on decisions.

Then criticism becomes normal and non offensive and can be used constructively to make the team better because you are convincing peers not overlords.

[cookiecaper]

You're right that the problem has to be solved through subtle manipulations in the environment. That's why terms like "directed collaboration" have become "corpo-speak".

Many of us have had "open-door" bosses and we've found out that they're actually not unlike "shut-door" bosses or bosses who haven't stated a door-type. The difference is that open-door bosses are professional managers who know that framing the environment in approachable terms makes their job easier (or are at least hypnotically copying the actions of those who know this), even if "open door" doesn't actually mean "open door".

Being "open door" doesn't change the overall situation though, it just makes it easier in the unlikely event that someone will want to come talk to you. Bosses still need to analyze their employees carefully and attempt to coax them into revealing their true feelings.

Consider that even in the most intimate relationships, like marriage, people frequently hide their true feelings for years. If they can live like that in their marriages, they can live like that in their jobs, too. Don't let problems fester.

If you wait until the time that your employees are coming to you under "open door" pretenses, the problem is usually pretty bad; you've waited too long to discover and fix it.

Corpo-speak has become detested precisely because normal people see the hypocrisy and condescension in them, but in the real world, this doesn't seem to matter much. I guess people prefer to hear the version that they don't really believe because it leaves open the possibility that you'll choose to honor it in their case.