[unfocused]

I'm like you - full time job, wife (who also works full time), 2 kids under age of 6. I too am tired some nights but some things have changed (for the better):

1. Changed jobs to a balanced work/life job. 2. No longer a developer, but still in IT. 3. 12 minute walking commute (no buses, cars, or bikes) 4. Moved downtown - smaller house than most people, but as noted in #3, walking commute to pretty much everything. 5. My side projects are my kids, as they are very young and are not independent by any means. I've dabbled in tiny project which was python to grab Scotch prices. But that was 6 hours. So yeah, not much time. Also, my "heritage" home is a bottomless pit of maintenance, but kind of fun as the kids get involved.

I would say either you work remote, or work from home 1 day a week if you really like your current job. Is it possible to find a closer job? You can gain at least 1.5 to 2 hours hours a day right there.

[johngorse]

It is possible to find a closer job, but I kinda like it here where I am. I have an awesome team mates. I was thinking about remote job, but this is another story, because the lack of personal contact changes you I guess. While I love my wife and my two kids (son - 2 years old, daughter - 5 months) I guess it is healthy to change environment from time to time.

[unfocused]

If you like your job, then see if you can work from home just 1 day a week. Start small.

I'm actually the "boss" where I work and I allow one of my employees to work wed and thurs from home.

So long as they do good work, I could care less where they are. So perhaps try telling your boss that you have thought of all the details like meetings, picking a quiet day when its not busy, or telling them that you will guarantee you will be reachable at all times. Sometimes managers that are old school need to be sold on how you will manage their worst fear - doing nothing at home.

[b_emery]

Working remote even 2 days per week would buy you 4 hrs/wk. That's huge. We just moved closer to my work and the kid's school. The 20 min gained per day (in the morning) has been surprisingly valuable.

[thatwebdude]

Also working on home in free time. It's great to involve the kids to learn about trades and "learning to live" and fix things. They're having fun and helping, and I'm still completing large projects on time.