[anon374939]

Most activities seemed at least 2x more difficult, and that differential probably becomes 3x with kids. Service all around isn't very good in the Bay, there is a higher chance of simple things to not go as planned. Over the years I've realized that stress is something that creeps up on you slowly but surely, and most often you don't even realize it. Over the years it adds up, and ultimately can reduce your lifespan. It truly is the silent killer.

[sbrks]

Can you elaborate a little more on the activities here being 2x more difficult? I'm curious because this is a metric I use when comparing quality of life between NYC and SF (I made the move about a year ago). Activities like laundry, grocery shopping, and commuting I find easier in SF than in NYC, even though some of the salient variables haven't changed much (e.g. in both cities I don't have in-unit laundry so I go to the closest laundromat).

Not to say things aren't harder here than in most places. Just having in-unit laundry seems like something most non high-COL, urban-dwelling Americans take as a given.

[anon374939]

NYC seems to be on par with SF. Both living situations are extreme for someone with a more suburban upbringing.

Lack of mobility if you don't have a car, lack of available parking if you do, long lines in general, lots of traffic. Very poor care at many establishments due to overworked and over stressed staff. Miniscule and generally not so great living conditions. For example I lived in a nearly 100 year old house in Oakland with others, which 1 yr later found out had mold problems (a serious health hazard). Also lived in two very modern apartments in the heart of SF both of which had a converted living room bedroom with three roommates. One roommate slept on a couch for a year, paying over $1000/mo. Crime due to homeless situation (witnessed crime frequently during my time, petty crime especially. Side note, didn't a Bart train get robbed just yesterday?). Medical care is another big one (multiple experiences, one for me personally)

Even little things like cooking are very difficult when your entire kitchen is 1/5 the size of what you'd find in a similarly priced suburban home. Little things like this add to stress as I wrote a bit about already.

And sadly the south bay isn't that much better as a "suburb". The home prices in Palo Alto for example are quite outrageous. There are a lot of far nicer suburbs in other parts of the country without the wild price tag.

I was young when I moved, and don't regret the time I spent in the Bay at all. I learned a lot, it was positive for my career and most of all I just had to get it out of my system. The glitz and glamour of it all wore with time, as I suspect it does for many, and ultimately I felt it wasn't where I would want to build my future.