[simonhamp]

Whilst I've probably been in a similar situation at some point or another in my past (albeit in the UK), and can very much sympathise with your story, I can't possibly agree with your final premise.

Ruthlessness is not what makes for a happy work life.

You absolutely should call out the thankless and unappreciative! Perhaps they really are just poorly informed about how long things take or the knowledge that makes it possible (however unlikely)... that's still no excuse.

And to "treat others as they treat you" is a slippery slope that can quickly get you a bad reputation.

Don't be afraid to do things differently, you will be happier for it.

[zaphar]

Doing things differently has consistently given me more and better opportunities than ruthlessness. In a way it makes me stand out from the crowd. I tend to be asked to lead teams with poor morale or interpersonal tensions. Usually I'm able to negotiate the power to be able to make the changes necessary for that team to perform better and have a better work experience. The company wins because the engineers perform better. The employees win because they have a better work experience.

In the cases where I am unable to negotiate such things I don't stick around. Any company that doesn't see the employee/employer relationship as a two way street is no company I want to work for.