[partisan]

Have you tried city or utility jobs? They are not as sexy, but they have the potential to meet every one of your requirements.

Secondly, the way you talk about your abilities makes me want to shake you. You are no less capable than the next person. You're not going to be the next big developer evangelist or the founder of some amazing startup, but neither are 99% of the other people. HN is a concentration of successful, smart people. It can skew the way you view yourself so don't use this site as a barometer for your skills.

Also, you sound depressed and defeated and that is understandable after what seems like a constant onslaught of rejection, but the only way to change that is by building your own self worth and confidence in your skills. You can't expect an employer to meet you where you are so you have to meet them where they are. Find your passion in this field and run with it.

I have 13 years in the industry and I still feel like a fraud most days. That doesn't seem to go away.