I found the above link in another HN thread some time ago. When I showed it to some PHP devs recently (I unfortunately don't remember exactly who I talked about it to) I was promptly told PHP does not do what is described in the above link (from 2006) and is generally smarter nowadays.
It's sad that languages and runtimes take so long to fix their core insanities (if ever), and it's also sad when systems are built without front-and-center regard to design correctness from the start. But on the flip side, the only people capable of envisioning good designs of this level of scale are often worn out shells of their former selves at the "you'd have to pay me 7 figures" stage... and of course you have to make sure you pick people who aren't completely out of touch with the latest developments in $category science...