[jokr004]

Opiate addiction is hell. Just pure unadulterated hell. I've been through a lot of hardships in life but I honestly can't begin to explain to you the amount of pain this has caused me. I'm currently in a methadone program after relapsing for the first time since I got clean five years ago. Just.. stay as far away from this stuff as you possibly can. It has the potential to swallow you whole.

[oxryly1]

Not to pry, but did it start with a doctor's prescription for you?

[jokr004]

It actually didn't start with a prescription.. For me it started as casual use here and there and very quickly turned into self-medication. I've had issues with depression and anxiety for a long time and opiates were a really easy way of dealing with those problems. However I can't tell you how many people I knew who started using after being prescribed opioid painkillers.

[gefh]

I've only ever had opioid painkillers after dental work, and it's enough to convince me that I must _never_ try heroin. You have my kind thoughts and best wishes.

[pgrote]

I never understood how people could be addicted to drugs until the middle of the night screaming in an emergency room bed. A kidney stone was causing so much pain morphine wouldn't touch it. Unbearable.

The nurse came in and put something in my IV and I just stopped. The pain stopped. I stopped talking to my wife in mid-sentence. Everything was fine. My world just stopped and I liked it.

As the nurse left my wife asked what I was given and it was dilaudid, which is equal to heroin on the equianalgesic scale.

It was right then I understood how people become addicted to drugs. Like you, it convinced me to never try heroin or any other opiates outside of emergency medical care.

[jokr004]

Thanks, I really appreciate it! All things considered things are actually going really well. My relationship with my SO is better than ever, my career is going well, I'm actually starting a new job next week. I managed to keep my life together through all of this, and I know I'm very lucky for that.

[crestedtazo]

I don't mean to diminish your experience... but "pure unadulterated hell" is having a SO that loves you, a stable place to live, sleep, and eat, as well as a stable career?

If all of that is what "pure, unadulterated hell" looks like to you, I think your life really hasn't been as difficult and full of "hardships" as you would have people believe...

I think the thing that would help you most would be to stop feeling like a victim. That's what helped me! Best of luck to you.

[jokr004]

I'm not feeling like a victim, I'm extremely lucky and I know that. I admitted to that.. The unadulterated hell I was referring to is the excruciating pain that comes with opiate withdrawal...

To give you some further perspective here, I was sexually abused as a child. I would rather go through that 100 times before I would go through bad withdrawal again... Fuck off.