[captain_clam]

Dear god, the timed drills. I distinctly recall the tremendous anxiety evoked by the ultra-competitive nature of those drills in elementary school, and especially the subsequent feelings of failure when comparing my performance to that of my peers.

It must have been that bitter flavor of failure that first inured me against mathematics...it didn't help that the rest of my K-12 education never even attempted to demonstrate the enormous beauty of maths. In fact, until I discovered calculus on my own terms between high school and college, I understood mathematics to be nothing more than the practice of applying rote formulas to arbitrary equations. There was no rhyme or reason to the quadratic equation...it was just one of many "rules" pulled from the mathematical "rulebook," and math was simply the practice of recognizing when this arbitrary rule applied, and then applying it.

Therefore, for most of my life, math was not seen as a creative or exploratory discipline, and in fact the very opposite: One's ability in math was completely contingent on their memorization of rules and simply following them. It was purely robotic, the domain of tightly-wound, uninspired automatons. It was for squares, not free-spirited creative souls like myself!

Though I am disappointed to think of the heights and wonders I could have visited by now, had I been given a proper introduction at a younger age, I am no less excited by the wonders ahead of me, and the many years I have left to explore them. :)