[falsedan]

Don't eat the solder? Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to lead-based solder. Caution: lead-based solder may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Lead-based solder contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use lead-based solder on concrete. Discontinue use of lead-based solder if any of the following occurs:

    itching
    vertigo
    dizziness
    tingling in extremities
    loss of balance or coordination
    slurred speech
    temporary blindness
    profuse sweating
    or heart palpitations. 

If lead-based solder begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Lead-based solder may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, lead-based solder should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of lead-based solder, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of lead-based solder include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Lead-based solder has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt lead-based solder. Lead-based solder comes with a lifetime warranty.