[jdhopeunique]

New Employee Policy:

Employees are not authorized to access any company computer resources unless the following conditions are met:

1. Toilet seats must be in the down position following restroom use, as requested by HR.

2. Coffee area must be clean, with all spills and sugar wiped from the counter.

3. Refrigerator must be clean and free from week-old goods.

Any attempt to access the network while the above conditions are not met will be considered an unauthorized access of the network.