[cowpewter]

If a cat is "randomly lashing out" at their owners, then yeah, that's a pretty good sign that the owners don't see things from the cat's perspective.

Cat social behavior has its own internal consistency though. Usually the problem starts when people expect cats to behave like dogs. They don't have the same motivations as dogs at all.

Learn cat body language, and understand that cats see us as big, weird, slightly dumb, hairless cats that belong to the same "cat colony" as them, and nothing a cat does will seem "random" anymore.

[daysforbeef]

With all due respect, I will never understand how that statement differs from trying to understand the ways of an abusive ex and trying to thread carefully based on it? pretty sure the abusive nature comes from somewhere and then for some darn reason I'm walking on egg shells when I could pretty much invest my time in a more nicer manner. Unless you think that putting up with complete crap is something people ought to aspire to do (don't mean to come up as an asshole, but seriously mate?)

[cowpewter]

Well now I'm confused. My cats have never done anything that could be likened to an abusive partner.

I respect my cats as individuals with their own needs and desires and they respect me back. We're like roommates.

If you had a roommate that didn't speak English as their first language, would you make an effort to understand them so you could get along? Or would you scream or try to hit them or spray water in their face (as a lot of people do to cats) anytime he did something you didn't like? And if you did, and he reacted violently in turn, would you really be surprised?

[daysforbeef]

The question is why would you want to be stuck with someone who doesn't speak your language and gets pissed off at everything you do because they see you as dumb by default and their culture is the stark opposite of yours?

[cowpewter]

I kind of feel like we're speaking past each other here. I'm not sure what sort of dysfunctional cat/owner relationships you've observed to make you so vehemently opposed to the idea that they can be mutually beneficial.

I assure you, my cats actively enjoy and seek out my company, attention, and affection, and I likewise enjoy and seek out theirs.

When I get home, my cats run to greet me, with the straight upraised tail (with slightly curled tip) that indicates "friendly excitement." They sniff me and rub themselves against me with the full length of their bodies, which is a common greeting ritual for cats that belong to the same colony. They come and sit next to me on the couch, and when they want privacy, they will go and sleep somewhere else.

If they seek out my attention, and I don't have time or the desire then to give it them, a few firm setting them on the ground or shifting them out of the way, and they'll settle and not bother me (unless something is genuinely wrong and I haven't noticed, like the water dish being empty/dirty).

When I seek out their attention, if they don't feel like giving it right then, they indicate so through body language or even just leaving, and I respect their desires and don't force myself on them (unless it's in the case of something for their health, like giving them medication or taking them to the vet).

They can't speak English, though they understand a handful of words, such as their names, "treat", "dinner", "come here", "no", "gentle", and "please" as well as tone of voice. I can't speak Cat, but I understand a handful of words via body language and tone of voice when they meow.

I don't ever get angry at my cats for being cats, though occasionally I do get frustrated. And in return, though they sometimes get frustrated when I am failing to understand one of their requests, they don't get angry and lash out either.

I think we communicate fairly well for beings of two completely different species, and find each other's company mutually agreeable.

[braveo]

Don't bother, it's obvious they're not a pet owner and don't understand the sort of companionship one can have with pets.

When I first got my cat (for mousing) I was shocked at how quickly I grew attached to her. I had her about a week and she found a way out of the house, I searched and searched and searched and was about to let her go emotionally when I found her, and I was extremely happy.

And I had only had the cat a month, and no I didn't live by myself either.

You could use the same logic this person is using to describe a parents relationship with their child as well. It's just someone's opinion who has never owned a pet.

[vorotato]

Shitty people make shitty pet owners, and blame it on the pet because they're shitty. The fact that cats and most other animals are slightly less tolerant of shitty behavior than dogs does not mean that cats are bad, it means that the owners are bad. The fact that dogs tolerate shit owners means they are going above and beyond the call of duty.

Do not get any pet if you are not going to respect them or learn about their needs.