[gnat]

+1 here. I also have a maxed-out 13" Late 2016 Pro. The fake Esc key on the Touchbar makes me sad every time I use it (I don't have your Touch ID lag, though). And, as you say, the keyboard is insanely loud. Who needs to advertise "I AM TYPING" so much? And if loud feedback is so important in a keyboard, wtf ESC wtf?

I've made my peace with USB C for power, but the battery feels like it's good for trips to the coffee shop but not for actually taking a long flight anywhere. As you say, variable battery life is more of a curse than a blessing. It leads to distrust rather than gratitude.

And all this mediocrity for an eye-watering price. It's my first regretted Apple purchase (I managed to avoid the brief wearable fad).

My screensaver says it all: "Don't buy one of these machines."