[dang]

Sure. Ask in the spirit of good conversation, not cross-examination, e.g. "how did you come to that conclusion" or "why do you think that"—the way people put things in a friendly in-person conversation. Make it clear that you're just curious, and find some way to indicate that you assume good faith on the part of the other.

In face-to-face conversation, most good-faith signals are sent with tone of voice and physical expression. We don't have those channels in text so it's necessary to encode them some other way.

[lostsock]

FYI I really appreciate the way you moderate dang, thanks for all the hard work. You're clear, transparent, informative and paitent. It really makes all the difference.

[dang]

Thank you!

[CodeWriter23]

I feel like the example you provided vs. the person's detached comment is splitting hairs over a stylistic issue. In the detached comment, ErikVandeWater is precisely asking for what he wants. In a community heavily weighted with engineers, I think this behavior should be expected, and not penalized.

[dang]

I understand, but we have a lot of experience with "stylistic issues" triggering destructive flamewars on HN, and there were signs of that in this case.

[kr7]

Thank you.