[beerbaron23]

Oh yes, keeping up with technologies on your own time doesn't count for shit unless you were utilizing it on the job. Experience is what they are basing all their interviews on, an since most people embellish on what they can do during the interview and on their CV, you better be prepared to embellish as well or you will loose every time.

Timing and luck count for a lot. You won the shit job lottery that's difficult to recover from, not to mention your anxiety/autism that will hurt your chances as well.

I am only a couple weeks away from moving back in with my mother as I can't find any work and also am loosing everything, I'm a 35 year old man moving back with his mother, back to the same city I left 7 years ago to improve my life. I have even applied to a previous employer close to my mother that treated me so horribly it was the main reason I left that town in the first place.

On the positive side all I have now is this computer I'm writing on, a DSLR camera and a cell phone. So I am able to get up and go anywhere in the world possible I guess, no GF to discuss that over.

And yes alcohol sure does work, an I can't even afford that anymore.

But honestly if you keep plugging away at it, you are going to get the timing right for once (laws of probability), be in the right place at the right time and the course of life changes. This thought is one of the only things preventing me from ending everything.