[rantaccount]

Thanks dude. That was nice to read.

No, I'm not very confrontational and in general I've learnt to act normal very well. If you met me at a meetup or something you probably wouldn't guess I'm autistic at all. I've honestly spent years working on my social skills and it's paid of quite well.

In interviews the issue really only comes in when I'm asked really vague questions like, "what gets you excited?" I don't really know how to answer those kind of questions so I start stumbling. I also have the same problem with certain technical questions. I was asked to explain regexs recently and I find that very hard because I struggle translating the conceptual ideas in my into words.

Also when I'm in an office I get quickly tired of pretending to be normal. If I'm having a rough day I don't have the energy to pull it off and then problems start cropping up.

I don't know your friend, but we sound different honestly. I pick up things insanely quick. Things like programming and maths just make sense to me. I don't need to get into special programmes because when working on my own I know I can out perform the majority of people. My issue is 100% with other people judging me for not being able to understand irrelevant things to my work such as social etiquettes and my slightly unusual methods of explaining myself.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm annoyed at the suggestion that I need special programs. Growing up I always loved being autistic because it made be able to do cool things like teach myself to code. I was always in top sets for subjects like physics, maths, etc and I was one of the strongest developers on my course in college and university.

I don't need help, I just need people to be understanding that some people like to be left alone and take a little longer to figure out a good way to express themselves. My issue has always been that people don't like that I'm anti-social and they don't have time for my less eloquent explanations.

Edit: Additionally, I do often say, "sorry I'm autistic" and ask for help. For example it's very common for me to say, "sorry I'm autistic, have I upset you?", or sometimes I will ask if they want me to stop talking. I find it very hard to read those things.

But in interviews I'd never mention I'm autistic. If I'm given a job I want to know it's because someone thinks I'm the best person for the role. I don't want sympathy. I just want people to stop being so judgemental towards me.

[hluska]

You're a good person and unemployment sucks, so I'm not going to let this go. Basically, you have a choice. You can wait for the entire world to change, or you can be the change that you want to see.

There isn't anything wrong with you and I'm sorry for my shitty wording. You don't "help" because there's nothing wrong with you. A lot of the programs available to adults on the autism spectrum amount to little more than acting lessons.

I know that the social world is strange, and I understand how judgemental people are. But there are compassionate, understanding people out there who could teach you how to essentially bluff your way through all the weird social interactions we're expected to participate in.

I'd equate this to the movie the Hannibal Lecter movies. I don't think that Anthony Hopkins is a serial killer who likes to eat his victims, but he did a damned good job convincing me that he was. And straight up, I wouldn't let him cook for me...:)

Sorry again - I read over my reply and I overstated the concept of getting help. You don't need help because there's nothing wrong with you. Some pseudo acting lessons though might be tremendously beneficial!

Once again, you're a good person and I'm sorry my first reply was misleading. Take care...

[RikNieu]

I don't need help, I just need people to be understanding that some people like to be left alone and take a little longer to figure out a good way to express themselves.

Consider this logically. Which would be the most optimal and efficient solution to your problem; learning to change your own behavior and expectations, or expecting the whole world to adapt to you?

Btw, I have similar difficulties in expressing myself verbally and can relate to your issues very well. I'm probably a lot older than you though, so I've had a few years to work on my 'soft' skills. I'd say I'm only moderately annoying by now, I'm aiming for 'quaint' by the end of the year.

[urahara]

There should exist companies with cultures friendly to people like you. I'm quite surprised that given your high level skills and what seems very minor communication problems, anyone actually judges you that hard. Seems like you had very bad luck with your working environments. Have you tried to research companies with spesific culture that could suit you well? Also maybe you could start your own business and avoid unwanted communication this way?