You're treating a movement as a monolithic entity, and then saying it should be represented by its most extreme and vocal advocates, who inevitably make up the vast minority.
No, he's demanding that a movement be represented by the actual actions of its members instead of what they claim to be trying to achieve. He didn't restrict this to its most extreme and vocal members. He doesn't have to, because anyone whose understanding of feminism genuinely doesn't go beyond "equal treatment of the sexes" is not actually considered a feminist by other feminists; there are a whole bunch of other beliefs that feminists are expected to hold, some more important and universal than others, many of which require treating people differently based on their sex/gender. (One of the more common beliefs is that feminism's tactics and beliefs are the only way of achieving equality of the sexes, and that anyone who doesn't support them is therefore opposed to equality. Relying on this argument would, of course, be begging the question.)
It's hard to get far in this conversation, because I say "most feminists believe X", and you say "no most feminists believe Y", and is there any way to find out the truth?