[patio11]

Put a big bright signup button in the main content area. I assumed "Suitable For All Consumer Facing Businesses!" was going to be one.

LoyaltySpace is a complete, simple, and affordable solution that helps small businesses to increase sales by running their own customer loyalty program.

LoyaltySpace supports both plastic card loyalty programs and an innovative mobile phone based loyalty product.

That is a lot about you and a little about them. Successful sales is frequently a lot about them and a little about you. Relatedly, features do not sell software; benefits sell software. Don't tell them that you can "build a customer database" ("I sell freaking pasta, what do I want a database for!? 'Subsequent marketing activity'?!"), tell them the improvement they are going to experience in their lives from using your product. ("You'll get eager customers who want to hear from you giving you their contact details so that you can sell them more stuff.")

Similarly, "Create tailored offers" => "Increase sales by directing the right offers to the right customers."

[loyaltyspace]

Thanks Patrick - all great that advice that will implement.

[mschaecher]

I think this is a great product idea, but the marketing/sales on the website needs a lot of improvement--and patio11's suggestions are a great start. Especially need better Call-to-Action elements.

I think a simplified value proposition as a tagline is a must. For instance: Square: Accept Payments Anywhere, Basecamp: The Better Way to Get Project Done, Grasshopper: Sound Professional & Stay Connected--The Virtual Phone System Designed for Entrepreneurs.

--Loyalty Space: The simple loyalty program for increasing sales...or..Real Easy, Real Results...or...(Customer) Loyalty Programs Made Easy..or..The Easiest Way to Build Relationships and Drive Results..etc., etc. Something along those lines, brainstorm a bunch. If you are going to do any advertising A/B test your top 5 in the copy. Check out what other successful companies are doing.

If possible show, don't tell. An awesome video would be great where that carousel currently is. Include some shots of the product actually being used. See Square's videos for definition of awesome videos.

Then I'd put a carousel type section below(but still above the fold if possible), with sections for the businesses in your "Consumer Facing Businesses". I'd list the businesses vertically on the left with icons plus text. Each section loads content to the right with (fictional or real if you got them)examples of problems/needs being solved by your service. Ex: Salons-->Meet Jane, Jane needed a way to fill empty seats in her salon on slow days. She uses her customer database to see which regulars are due for a new cut, and then sends them a custom/personalized discount offer via text message if they come in this afternoon. In no time at all, Jane's seats are booked for the rest of the day with customers grateful for a great deal.<---Copy should be a lot better, wrote this quick.

Customer Testimonials are huge too. Get some as soon as you can. If you know someone loves your product you can even write it yourself, let them have the chance to edit, and sign off on it. No more than two sentence.

About section could use a lot of improvement. In fact I'd pry call it "Why Loyalty Programs" Include some stats from respected sources on benefits of loyalty programs. Cut out as much copy as you can, and try to condense it all above the fold.

Check out Grasshopper for a great "how it works" section.

Include a clear CTA on almost every page.