[cagrimmett]

I don't believe in soulmates or perfect matches. Relationships are about working together, generosity, and graciousness. My wife and I could have made it work with other people, but we chose to make our relationship work, which is what makes it special. And we never forget that we have to keep working on it every day.

[Aaargh20318]

> I don't believe in soulmates or perfect matches. Relationships are about working together, generosity, and graciousness.

It just sounds like a bad cost/benefit ratio to me. But then again, I don't like people in general and I don't seem to be as dependent on social contact as the average person. I might value the benefits much lower than others.

[mdrzn]

That's why some people have a lot of relationships, because they get great value (emotional benefit) from them. Others don't, so it's not worth their time.

[hueving]

>I don't believe in soulmates or perfect matches.

So did you feel like you "settled" so to speak? If so, did you ever stop thinking that?

[mathattack]

It's not a matter of settling. Perfection in relationships is a wrong concept. (If someone projects one on Facebook, it's to cover their insecurities) They take work. Even when you find the right person.

[Clubber]

Agreed. It's like finding the perfect job that's perfect for 40 years. Never gonna happen. It's great to find a good job, that keeps your interest, respects you, treats you well, grows with you, is loyal, and gives back; but you're never gonna find a perfect job.

Some people find what seems like a perfect job, then after a few years, they get bought out and aren't so perfect anymore.

I played the field until I was in my mid 30s, then settled down. Never been happier. I hope it lasts, and I think it will.

Also, beauty fades pretty quickly. Not only in the object, but in the eye of the beholder. The person is much more important. Also, it sucks when everyone hits on your girlfriend / wife all the time.

[gf263]

Not really, I think its funny :)

[mathattack]

Also, beauty fades pretty quickly. Not only in the object, but in the eye of the beholder. The person is much more important.

Truth! After you have two kids, the character of your spouse matters much more than anything else. :-)

[posterboy]

Ah, this sounds so right taking into account 'perfect' means a finished process, compared to the ongoing progress that a relation is (and live in general).

Edit: Further, careless and secura are antonym homonyms modulo literal translation.

[hueving]

>It's not a matter of settling.

Let me rephrase it. When you were looking for a relationship, did you have a set of expectations that you ultimately gave up on fulfilling? Or did you try to set out with no expectations at all?

[agilebyte]

Not the author of the comment, but once your ego gets humbled enough, you "settle" without feeling like you are settling. Perfection is the enemy of human.