[acetoxy]

I've done both mistakes in the past 3 years. I've been on sick leave for 1.5 months now because of stress and I hate myself for doing this. I sleep 3-4 hours each night and I get panic attacks whenever I think about work. Well, now it's been so long that I don't even care but I'm feeling anxious as hell about coming back. I'm probably gonna kill myself soon.

[s5fs]

I genuinely hope you don't kill yourself, feel free to PM if you wanna chat about whatever.

A job is just a job, they come and go. We trick ourselves into making them seem far more important than they really are, but ultimately it's just a means to an end. It's so easy to lose sight of that when life gets busy.

Things get better but you have to let time do it's thing too. Patience.

[Broken_Hippo]

If you haven't done so while you've been out sick, please see a doctor or therapist for the stress. Heck, even if you've been to a doctor or therapist about this, please talk to them again so they know that so far, it isn't working.

At this point, you can probably safely go to the ER and tell them you fear you'll kill yourself so that you'll get urgent help.

====

This stuff you are going through, it can get better. It doesn't last. You can learn to deal with panic attacks, you can change jobs, and so on.

[imauld]

I understand life can be stressful, especially work but if you are looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.

You can send me an email at my username at gmail if you need to talk or call this number 1-800-273-8255

[hluska]

I can identify with how you feel because several years ago, I was in the same boat. I am generally averse to making promises, but in this case, I will make you one. This will get better.

Anxiety is an absolutely horrible affliction and panic attacks are my personal definition of hell. The troubling part is that I understand how you feel. When panic attacks were part of my life, I often contemplated putting an end to everything. It wasn't that I hated life...it was that I hated the circumstances under which I had to live life.

However, don't hate yourself. You were brave and intelligent enough to listen to your body. Your body screamed at you to stop and you listened. Be proud of yourself because frankly, lots of people like you don't listen to their bodies and die of heart attacks when they are in their 30s. Or, they don't listen to their bodies and develop addictions to alcohol or heavy drugs. You listened to yours and you started the path to getting better. Let time do its work because frankly my friend, this is going to take time.

And please, don't kill yourself. I know that this job may seem like the be all and end all, but I promise you that it isn't. There are more jobs out there, and if software doesn't do it for you anymore, there are literally thousands of different careers out there.

I believe in you, so I know that you can get through this, but you may need some help or, at the very least, a kind ear. My email address is in my profile. Please use it - I will never judge you and will keep anything you say to myself, unless you tell me about a specific plan to kill yourself. Then, I am sorry that I have to say this, but I will do whatever it takes to keep you from fulfilling that plan.

Be safe. You are cared about.

[enslaved]

Replies like this remind me we are human, and people do care. There's too much focus on deadlines, money and profit. Maybe one day the wheel will fall off this psychopathic hamster wheel we call capitalism.

[abraham_s]

>>>>I'm probably gonna kill myself soon

If you are having such thoughts, please seek help. National Suicide prevention hotline Call 1-800-273-8255