[dgrealy]

I'm not going to tell you what you should do, especially without knowing the details of the situation, but it's probably helpful to hear a third party's description of what your options were 3 weeks ago, if you ever find yourself in the same position again:

The leave option : This area is always hot and there are a lot of jobs, so if you're unhappy you can find another position rapidly. Life is short. If you're being jerked around go ahead and find something else where that is going to be less likely. Greener pastures (usually) exist in this land of abundance.

The stay option : Staying for a month after production shows character and is something you can learn A LOT from. Maybe you've been to production many times before but there is always something to learn, even when it's a flaming shit-show. Especially when it is. The period of moving into prod is often rough, and sometimes only the strong pull through it. Even if you stay for only a month, you will be getting valuable experience and stories to tell. Stories that are actually most valuable when told in your next interview, and every subsequent interview in your career. Think about it from a hiring manager's perspective. Would you rather hear a story about an employee who had gripes with the team and leadership but who was hungry for special experience and felt a duty to help during the first month of production? Or would you rather hear a story about an employee who had those gripes and left as soon as prod was launched, when the team is in a bit of a critical point. It's true that when you get to prod, the bulk of the initial development work is done ... but there is a substantial chunk left which is making sure it stays propped up when it falls over in all of the various ways it usually does in the first month. The "story" of staying just for 1 month is definitely better. It's less comfortable but rewards more experience and anecdotes. However, make sure you do get out soon if you recognize a need to do so.

As for your current situation, I would say it shows some character that you want to help through with the push to prod. I would say ask, and if both employers are agreeable then do it. But if either employer doesn't like the idea much, then don't push hard for it. Just start your new job. Employer #1 might not like the idea much either. Once it's clear that someone is exiting sometimes it's best to not have them mingling very much. On the other side, if they are really eager to have you stay an additional week when they know you have already signed an offer with employer #2 and have a start date, they might not have your best interests in mind, which sounds like it is in line with your thoughts about them.