[anotherevan]

One anecdote here: Both my daughter and son are on the spectrum (high-level autistic, or aspberger). Daughter was born when I was 29 and wife was 34, son three years later (so perhaps a little older than average). Neither was especially premature (both about 5-6 days early from memory) and very smooth pregnancies.

Son was diagnosed at age seven, daughter at age fifteen. Generally it can be harder to pick up with girls. They tend to be better mimics and it can present much more subtly. I really wish we had figured it out sooner with our daughter – she is had a lot of issues with anxiety and school refusal for the last few years, and I wonder if had had the necessary information earlier like we did with our son, how much of a difference it would have made. (Although both are autistic, they present so differently it was not obvious.)

So I reiterate johnnyg’s exhortation to seek a diagnosis and early treatment if you suspect there may be autism at play. There’s a steep learning curve to getting your head around it and figuring out how to best help yourself and/or your loved ones, but you read hacker news, so you’re up for the challenge. Find (or start) a local community support group – it’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to hack it alone.