[3131s]

> I hated every fucking day of school from the day I got in, to the day I got out.

> I hope I'm able to fully convey to which extent it has traumatized me.

I always feel bad about thinking these two things, because to be honest my life was mostly privileged and because many people would feel lucky just to have access to some form of education, but I truly feel the same way.

I went through the public school system in the US and hated every moment of it, despite being socially adept and not subject to bullying from other students. I was just so incredibly bored. That's not to say that my teachers were necessarily bad, or that every subject was too easy / not worth learning (though some were), it was just that sitting still and silent in a classroom of 30+ kids for 8 hours a day ran contrary to my ideal learning environment in every possible way. It is not natural for most children to be silent, and then be yelled at for giving in to the massive urge to socialize. It is not natural to have almost no physical stimulation throughout the day. Now even as an adult I need to exercise 1.5 - 2 hours a day to keep my mind calm. I was so overstimulated by my environment that paying attention in school was hopeless. I cannot focus when I am around other people (especially at the time the opposite sex). Past 6th grade or so I was daydreaming nearly every minute of the day. I learned literally nothing in junior high and high school. I asked to drop out and home school myself on a routine basis but it wasn't an option. It took a long time after to break certain negative associations and rekindle the love of learning that I always knew that I had.

[Jugurtha]

Sounds like a lot of suffering.. Boredom is a killer. Were you treated for this or have followed it closely? Did you indulge in physical activities and still felt the need to do that?

Some teachers in primary school used to let me play in class (go to the back and sort of move around, get between two tables and play pendulum/swing with my legs). Apparently it was that painful to watch a bored kid. But I think it was better because I also did a lot of physical activities that I think helped mitigate.

As to college, to be honest, the curriculum is truly primo quality, straight out of the Soviet system. The college was about 40,000 students, all in Sci & Tech. (no humanities).

Engineering students go through two years of common core where you study a bunch of Math/Physics/Chemistry/Strength of Materials/Manufacturing(lathe, molding)/Industrial drawing/Programming courses.

Every Engineering student goes through that, except Software people who only do one year (they miss the coolest one).

The syllabus is good.. (we got to learn about RST controllers which are rarely taught).

The problem though is that they don't capitalize on what has been done to do more and they don't have ways to test out of courses (there's a bunch of courses I could have tested out of. I ended up had good grades in them and it just wasted my time). And also some profs are unethical (nice when they give you a class or a half to tutor, and then slaughter your grade and disappear, some don't even correct your sheet).

Plus you don't get to build on what you've learned. Scarce electronic parts. Rare projects. You had to search a lot to find good solder. You can't do PCB traces under a certain width. Forget about SMD.

I struggled to get a credit card, and then the stuff you buy online either got "permanently misplaced", lost, or held at customs. It's like that Carl Sagan quote: "If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." Struggling to do the basic stuff for so long gets tiring, and dulls your edge.