[Ritjert]

Luckily these are solvable problems.

You can trim/shave your hair.

With regards to clothing you can use instagram to follow men or pages whose style you like and use that as inspiration.

Finally, I'd recommend getting in above average shape. Make going to the gym a part of your life. An hour everyday before work of straight after.

While you're doing some/all of these, I'd start to just talk to everyone. Men, women, old and young. That way you get into the habit of becoming more sociable and confident.

I know these tips may sound superficial, but they help shifting an external locus of control into an internal one.

[partisan]

Some people can't shave their heads for various reasons. People buy into the whole "balding isn't a choice, shaving is", etc, but it only applies until it doesn't.

I agree that going to the gym and getting in shape can really lead you to life improvements, but do so with a qualified trainer. It is easy to hurt yourself and leave things in a worse state.

I agree about socializing. Typically, people want to tell you something so you just open the door for them to do so as long as your approach is free of hidden objectives.

Regarding superficiality, I do find the above to be superficial, but I think things are just more superficial in general. With the rise of social media, people tend to gravitate towards people who meet their physical ideal before looking further. What that means is that there are fewer opportunities to "know" someone. So if you want to participate in the standard dating game, you have to participate in the superficiality of it to the best of your abilities.