Ask HN: I'm not seeing it anymore

[kryptonic]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, although I trust the advise this community has to offer more than most.

It's 2 weeks until Christmas, and about 3 before I lose my house and almost everything else I have.

I worked for 5 years with some company, and got let go on the spot. 5 years of my life, no one even said goodbye. I'm told that's normal.

I've worked hard since I was 15. I've been working on startups since high school.

You know how it is, I thought I was going to be a millionaire by 21, then by 21 I realised how much of an idiot I was in high school. But I'm not sure I have any hope left now.

I read, I try to better myself, I do everything I can to make something of myself. I feel I have so much experience for my age. I've written a book and I'm working on another. I've worked on countless projects (all failed, but still), and I'm obsessive about learning by nature.

I feel like I have so much to offer, but no one care's because of my communication skills. I'm autistic, shy and depressive - which translates to toxic for any "positive team oriented" companies. Or more simply, all of them.

Companies seem to like my applications. I haven't found it hard to get interviews, but I find it impossible to get replies after that.

I know I'm running out of time, and I'm getting scared because I don't have anywhere to go after Christmas.

My family keep telling me I should give up and find a retail job or similar because this has been going on for months. And perhaps that's all I'm worth honestly. Communication is important. Perhaps there isn't a place for someone like myself in this industry.

I'm exhausted. I've worked non-stop for 10 years, and for what? I'm in a worse position than most my friends who dropped out of school. It's a joke. A Christmas story void of all moral and meaning.

Rant over.

Merry Christmas everyone. Truly.

[tenken]

I dunno about retail. But look into IT jobs in the defense sector or government, or higherEd. Eg, a job that is stable and not based on VC or grant-based; not some tenuous startup.

Look into your local 4 year university job sites (usually jobs.*.edu)

[noobermin]

Take a moment to relax. Yes, shit is bad for you and I'm sorry for everything you've experienced. Try to relax for a bit, at least a day or so.

Becoming a millionaire isn't easy, very few people will achieve such status, so don't feel so terrible over it. It's okay, you still did what you could and I'm sure you've learned a lot. And even if you didn't, even that's okay, you don't have to be a superstar or a millionaire, you just have to be you.

For now, remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It may be beneath you (and it probably is), but just get a job to survive for now. It really isn't about "what you are worth," it's about survival first, then once you have a fallback can you get back up and fight. You can't fight if you have no limbs to walk on, so make sure you can survive and slowly work back up.

Regardless, you need to believe in yourself. Take a breather, a moment to relax, but believe you can get back in there to fight again, because you can.

Cheers.

EDIT: also echoing tenken, there are other jobs you could get that aren't retail that might still be worth it to you. Keep an open mind and you'll be surprised what you could get yourself into.

[kryptonic]

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have been clearer.

I'm not stressed about not being a millionaire or anything like that. I'm old enough not to be aiming, or expecting that anymore.

I just want something that's somewhat rewarding which can also provide a roof over my head.

Thanks for your comment.

[olalonde]

> I'm autistic, shy and depressive - which translates to toxic for any "positive team oriented" companies.

What about remote or contract work? There's plenty of jobs that don't require you to talk every day or be physically present.

[rubyfan]

Merry Christmas! Hope thing resolve and get better for you. It's a hard time of year for lots of us.

Not sure where you are located but there are serious lack of qualified technical resources in the Northeast. Consulting gigs at Fortune 500s are usually fairly easy to get too, just look in boring cities that aren't Boston or NYC. Also, agree with Remote opportunities others suggested.

Many programmers can relate to the not team oriented thing, you're not alone in that one. Consulting and remote gigs can get a foot into the door at a place that values getting shit done over team love.

Good luck, hope things turn out for you. Merry Christmas!

[kryptonic]

Thanks.

I've never been the best at getting consulting gigs. Do you have any advise beyond just browsing various boards for contract positions? I tried cold emails before without before too.

I'm actually looking for remote positions at the moment as I agree with the consensus here that would be preferable for me. However, I live outside the US so opportunities are much fewer. And even with remote jobs there is still an interview. My anxiety remains noticeably severe even over Skype, and my speech problems are also very obvious.

[rubyfan]

What's your specialty that you have experience with that others don't?

It helps to have one thing that someone needs. I started my last gig by having more JavaScript and web experience than most others in my market at the time. I landed the role because one company was making a significant investment at the time I was looking.

Think about the one or two experiences you have that might be hot in the news or in corporate sectors... Hadoop, JavaScript, Machine Learning, Cognitive Computig, Analytics, Robotic Process Automation, Microservices, Internet of Things, etc.

As far as the speech, just be up front that you are a hard worker and deliver results but that you prefer text/email as your primary means of communication. Look for interviews that have a proof you can code, those will tend to actually evaluate skills and ability over trivialities like verbal communication (this is especially trivial in remote work).

Good luck!

[edoceo]

Would you be open to taking another interview? I'm this handle @gmail