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As @hluska said, this is brave to express your feelings, this is a good start.
After 2-3 years down the line you'd be looking at this post, then the problems you have shared will not quite seem actually problems or something to feel depressed about. Hear me out why. At some point of time we all feel uncertain about things, feel like we have little control over things, we can't decide what is better for us Option A or Option B, too many decisions to make, nothing is going as planned. When you understand that this is what happens to all and a lot frequently than you might have thought, the real fun starts. You wanted to do a job, you applied, you rejected some offers because you did not consider them good enough. That is just perfectly fine and past. Someone told you that you were good in school, that is also past. You are not your past or your CV. You are now in your present. Focus on what you have now, you have knowledge, you have a family and there can be many more things. I or anyone should rather not help you in picking up your choices like should you choose the next offer or go look for some other companies. Choose whatever you want, it just fucking doesn't matter. What matters is to choose only one option and do your best to make it happen. Go to a company which does not appreciate you, work hard and earn that appreciation or the second option to figure out a way to find a company where your special skills may get appreciated or any other option you can think of. Just brush off the shoulder, look what you have, what do you want to achieve in categories mainly health, career, family and relationships. Make a plan for the month with small goals in each category, and do your best to achieve that. Don't have answers to some questions ask, just like you did now. Revise the plan each month, your goal is to do better than the last month. Outcome may not be in your control but your actions are in your control. And if you are taking actions to achieve your goals, you have all the rights to feel good about it. Remember life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. |