[cassiemarketos]

I've said this before and I will say it again. A long time ago, a friend gave me a piece of advice, re: making career choices: "Don't think about what you want to do, think about how you want to feel."

So much about making the "right choice" is about understanding and being responsive to your emotional intuition -- not a category of feeling that you often hear celebrated in (speaking frankly) bro-heavy tech spaces.

I still pay attention to how an opportunity makes me feel: excited? afraid? leery?

Then I work backwards to: Why? (Sometimes, being a little afraid can be a good sign, haha -- it means something will challenge you.)

And I pay close attention to the people I would be working for: how do they communicate? who do they respect? how do they picture the future?

I also think about my own end goals. What am I looking for? Do I just need a paycheck? (That happens sometimes.) Is there a specific skill I'm trying to master? Will a role be a stepping stone toward a bigger picture, long term goal?

It's a confluence of factors, and there's no science on how to balance them against each other. Again: that emotional intuition will guide you. (Keep it well honed.)

Oof, long answer. Does that help at all? Feel like I might have gone off deep into left field with this one. :)

[captain_crabs]

A friend linked just this comment to me, and as somebody amidst an existential crisis, this is such a great answer.

That emotional intuition - have you noticed or observed any ways in yourself, or in others, to really keep this sharp?

[cassiemarketos]

Glad to hear it was helpful!

Yes, definitely. You have to carve out time for yourself, very deliberately, and be conscious about minimizing the amount of stimulation and distractions you are letting in. Spend time alone, go for long walks with your phone off, let your mind wander. Devote mental time to the things that scare you and trouble you -- really, really lean into them. (Another friend once said to me: "Embrace the struggle." Also a helpful mantra.) Therapy, if it's an option, can be great self maintenance. So is daily meditation, even if just for ten minutes. (It helps you get into the habit of unplugging.)

The work of focusing on your "feelings" is interesting because, often, it's actually the opposite of "focus." It's more like letting yourself drift freely and, in doing so, mapping your interior sea. :)

(Not to get tooooo hippy BS about it. Ha.)

[captain_crabs]

You've characterized what the act of honing emotional intuition needs, then what one would actually look like: block distractions, go for a long walk, generally think about the things you're uncomfortable about but let your mind wander. I think the hard part is, how much time do you need to devote before you get something back out of it? Best policy is probably just "always do it."

And in the last line, you elicited a reaction from me to say "This isn't hippy bs" and buy in to what you've said. Thanks for the deceptively good answer :D