[surge]

Suggest one? Is there another word to describe the inability to detect the subtle greater context and meaning of an interaction and instead obsess over the literal meaning of individual words?

It's tech, there is very high chance nearly everyone is on the spectrum in some way, and if fact its a trait that gives you advantages (but comes with some drawbacks depending to the degree you have it). It's almost self deprecating humor, we all have tics/obsessive behaviors where we miss the forest for the trees during social interactions where we know what they "meant" but it's not exactly "what they said" and so we give each other grief for it so we can try to do better when interacting with others.

There is nothing wrong with actually being autistic, but certain characteristics we should try to keep in check.

[totalZero]

Let's be candid here. Usually, people who use "autistic" as a pejorative really mean "clueless," or worse, "addle-brained." Both are far better alternatives, and neither alternative will collaterally insult autistic people. If you want to insult someone, go ahead. But don't accidentally insult a whole bunch of other people in the process.

If there is nothing wrong with being autistic, then it's poor communication to use it as a pejorative. And if there is something wrong with being autistic, then it's cruel to use it as a pejorative. Either way, there are other, better ways to express oneself.

I'm not going to discuss a blanket assessment of all tech industry workers as "on the spectrum." That's not my area of expertise.

I had a friend who is really short. I used to tease him a little about his height (we didn't exactly see eye to eye), but one day I noticed that he seemed hurt by my jokes so I stopped.

Autistic people have enough social challenges and confidence issues. You'd have to have ice water in your veins to intentionally add to that. They deal with enough difficulty as it is.

Sometimes it's about sensing how the other guy feels. The coolest guys try to draw attention to their friends' good qualities, big up the confidence of those around them, and help their peers stand taller. Obama did this once in a crowd that said a cutesy "aww" when a fourth-grader came up to ask a question; the President immediately interrupted the crowd, said that the boy was a big guy, and suggested that they let him speak.

Here's the video: https://youtu.be/BewOcp1JtDU

Autistic people don't deserve to be used as a punchline or pejorative. If you really mean "clueless," then say "clueless."

[surge]

Clueless isn't what they really mean, clueless means you have no idea what's going on. You can know what's going on but obsess over minute details or exact accuracy of statements that have no real bearing on the larger conversation. Clueless doesn't describe the tendency to do that. People call others obsessive compulsive all the time, no one's defending the self esteems of people with actual diagnosed OCD, because its understood its said with some levity and not being seriously derogatory to someone with serious issues with it.

Yes, I recognize the irony in pointing this out. I also recognize the irony we're even having this conversation because its due to the exact tendency the person was trying to describe, when in the grand scheme, no one cares.

[surge]

Addendum: To be clearer, it's usually short hand for the spectrum, or more accurately someone on the shallower end of the spectrum (like a Sheldon or a Sherlock/House to draw from pop culture versions of it) whose an adult who can deal with criticism, not like that kid or someone whose closer to what people think of as "Rain Man".

There is even someone in the comments whose Autistic who says they're fine with it, they're adults, give them more credit. the coddling betrays a lower opinion of them then an average person.

[totalZero]

I wouldn't describe it as coddling to avoid a topic. I'd call it tact.

I can't believe you actually think it's 100% cool to go around calling stuff autistic. This whole wall of text basically boils down to that for me.