[fbnlsr]

As a new parent myself (my son is two months old), what strikes me is how pretty much everyone has their opinion on how we should feed or make our baby sleep. Some say we should help him sleep in our arms, others say we shouldn't touch him when he's in his bed...

Lately we've decided to put him in his bed and come reassure him if he wakes up, but each time we have to go comfort him we wait longer than the previous time. So we do 5 minutes, 10 min, 20 min, and so on... Usually he sleeps after the 20 minutes mark.

[dejv]

In our case we just try a bit of everything and just try to see what is working and then stick to it. What worked for one baby is not always working for another.

In my experience the most important thing is to find your routine and stick to it as much as possible.

[DanBC]

For what it's worth: sleep is a learned habit. So if the infant learns to sleep in your arms it's harder for him/her to learn to sleep by themselves in a cot or bed.

But, obviously, what works for you is what's important.

[ashark]

> For what it's worth: sleep is a learned habit. So if the infant learns to sleep in your arms it's harder for him/her to learn to sleep by themselves in a cot or bed.

I consider this part of perhaps the most important rule of parenting: don't do (or stop doing ASAP) stuff you don't want to keep doing. Supplementary rule: expect friction any time you stop doing one of these things, and do your best to ignore said friction, or you'll backslide and never effect change, probably causing more total suffering (for all concerned) than if you'd just gone cold-turkey.

[sparrish]

As a father of 7, I agree. You have to train your children how and when to sleep or someone is going to be up once or twice every night for years to come.

[dharmon]

When do you think this starts to matter? I mean, I assume you didn't start "training" newborns by leaving them alone all night, right?

[sparrish]

Training starts right away but it takes a while to reach the point they're sleeping through the night as defined as '8 hours of uninterrupted sleep three nights in a row'. A wake-sleep-eat cycle will help your infant get there by 12 weeks. This book will save the sanity of new parents - recommended. "On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep"

[pavel_lishin]

I think the method you've chosen is typically referred to as the Ferber method