[drieddust]

I am an Indian in UK. Culture of heavy drinking and partying even in age group well past 30 is a real hindrance for me. If you don't drink or want to stop at a few, you are not really a sport.

Many Indian face similar predicament.

[noir_lord]

I'm white British, born here and I don't drink - definitely get the stranger in a strange land feeling sometimes.

[minipci1321]

A close family member faced the same issue when moved to UK for work. Being an athlete since the childhood (== not having a strong skill to handle alcohol + saving all time for training), he tried to avoid as much as he could - to the point where his manager made a "friendly remark" about how he should participate.

I think he now more or less secretly switches to juice after first couple of glasses (and I guess counts minutes till the end).

[_glass]

I feel you. I came back to Europe, but staying so long in an Asian country changed me already. Now it's sometimes really hard to reintegrate. Also because of the cultural stigma that was attached. And I am already thinking in terms of that cultural stigma.

[narutouzumaki]

Very interesting! Would you mind sharing in which way you became more 'Asian' in your values, manners or socialising? Usually I only hear about the reverse, e.g. Japanese going to the US or Europe and coming back more 'Western' in their ways.

[_glass]

One of the main points is really the alcohol. As all of my friends were not drinking, I also stopped to drink so much, that amounts to just on very special occasions. Also the aspect of friendliness. What I have to recalculate the reactions (much more aggressive, not really harmonic) of my surroundings. And so on. I could write much more, especially with family and so on. But I am definitely now a hybrid.

[kkjuuio888]

Just pin it on some medical issue. Or just "Doctors' orders".

[harry8]

That is a stunningly racist thing to say. "All English are dunks so I'm forced to avoid them." Think if a visitor to India made a comment as wrong and silly as that about Indian people. British people will brush it off and it won't hurt them, while the converse may not be true it's the same sin and you should think on it a little bit.

[thisone]

There is a drinking culture in the UK.

There is the expectation that you drink too unless you are visibly muslim.

And with some people, there is the feeling that if you aren't drinking with them then they can't trust you fully.

In my first two years here i ran into all of that.

Then i said fuck it and just started telling people honestly why i wasn't going out drinking with them 'i really don't like to drink much, it makes me really sleepy and not much fun. I don't like being around drunk people when i'm sober, and besides all that i'm not spending £120 for a hotel so i have to drive.'

After repeating that a few times most people understood. Some never did.

Those people who never did understand or accept it, i don't work with them any longer.

[tetromino_]

Setting aside the odd use of the term "racist" (counting Englishmen a distinct race sounds very 19th century)...

> "All English are dunks so I'm forced to avoid them."

That's not what drieddust said at all. His (her) problem isn't with the English being drunk or not - it's with the English expecting him (her) to drink if he wanted to be part of their in-group. Which is a reasonable complaint.

[harry8]

Taking any nationality as a race is stupid. The whole notion of race is stupid. And racisim is now impossible because race doesn't exist. It's a shorthand wherever it is used. Read culturalist if you prefer.

There are a large number of teatotallers in the UK. There are large numbers of people who don't like to drink much and don't drink often in the UK. There are people who like to drink often to excess. Rain is wet, sugar is sweet...

It is difficult to find a group of friends when in a new country. I've heard expats claim Indians don't accept white people and scoffed similarly. I'm sorry if you haven't (yet) found a social group you like. Blaming the inhabitants of a country because of their culture, attitudes and practices for that is not something I have to treat with respect - whoever does it.

[1474295912]

> Culture of heavy drinking and partying

Nowhere does the poster imply that it's a bad thing or tend to dismiss English people as lesser mortals. It's just a matter of fact comment and is a barrier for him to socialize.

[drieddust]

Apologies if it felt like that to you. There is no judgement on my part but I do face this challenge while socializing. I enjoy drinking but my body doesn't allow me to. Next day I feel horribly dehydrated and crappy. If I want to stop, I am being told I am too stiff.

[harry8]

It is perfectly normal for people in the UK to have social lives if they don't drink at all, or not much or not often. I'm sorry you haven't found a social group whose company you enjoy. Yet. Blaming the whole country being a "drinking culture" is sloppy and lazy at best. Maybe find a social group based on a common interest that isn't alcohol. Maybe organise a social outing with the same people who enjoy the pub, but centred on an activity doing something different. Maybe lots of things. But definitely we shouldn't blame the inhabitants and their culture of a country we are visiting for our lack of optimal social success.

I've made very cruel fun of some British people in Hong Kong sprouting similar nonsense in defence of having no friends outside the expat community. They were actually better people than that and deserved to feel ashamed about it and to their credit they did. People from ones own culture will always be an easier social fit when overseas, even if you wouldn't have much in common with them at home. Overseas you have home and the fact you're finding out about the foreign culture in common - but it's pretty superficial and lazy to fall back on that as a basis for your friends exclusively. Moreover you will miss rather a lot of the benefits of being overseas in a foreign culture.

My experience of Brits is that they are not all such hopeless alcoholics so as to be utterly incapable of socialising without excessive alcohol. If your experience is different maybe you should ask yourself why that is. Maybe you're expecting someone else to do all the work of socialising for you as one suggestion? You may come up with others.