[fuqted]

What are the motivations behind what you're doing? Because likely, at the very least it stems from a Pavlovian habit originally triggered by happiness.

"There is nothing in goodness above pleasure, there is nothing in evil below pain" - Sefer Yetzirah (Hebrew book of creation)

When it comes down to it happiness is the point of life.

[hilop]

You can experience compulsions that don't make you feel good. That mental illness, broadly defined, and very common.