[whamlastxmas]

>It's surely one of the roots of this bizarre idea that girls don't want someone nice, they want a jerk.

You're entitled to your opinion, and your opinion is based on your experiences. You don't really say what your experiences are so it's hard to discuss where I think you're thought process is wrong.

If you take the adjective "jerk" literally then yeah you're right, it's not very effective. When I say "jerk" I say it tongue in cheek, because that's how men describe it when they're passive push-overs without any confidence to do anything other than be entirely submissive to women.

Being a "jerk" is: independence, confidence, aloofness towards incoming negativity, tenacity in facing superficial barriers, and a healthy lack of ego while maintaining a sense of self-worth. People who lack these attributes have their self-esteem threatened when they see others who have it, hence the reason they look like "jerks" even though that's a list of great personality traits.

Also something worth mentioning: women want both. They want a jerk and they want a nice guy. They want to date the jerk but marry the nice guy. The problem is a single man struggles to be both. This means you have women who are unhappy that their jerk boyfriend won't commit, or they're unhappy because they're sexually unattracted to their nice husband despite how good he is with the kids. This is of course a huge hyperbole and generalization, and there are plenty of marriages where a man provides both roles just fine. My point is that lots of women want both roles, but it's hard to find both in a single man.

[aianus]

> They want a jerk and they want a nice guy.

It's like the female version of the Madonna–whore complex

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex

[hilop]

Now you are the one redefining "jerk". When a woman complains that she keeps falling for jerks, she means guys who cheat on her, curse at her, beat her, and spend her money.