| I wrote above about the myths (as in folklore, ancestor wisdom, not "myth" to mean something is superstitious to be dismissed with prejudice) on role reversals. So I get it. Setting up trust funds and other legal instruments is sensible, and it is what I'm planning with my children. On the flip side, I grew up in a Taiwanese household in America. Culturally, such a thing is not considered a burden, and is part of the continuity of lineage. What's fascinating for me is that: (1) There is an assumed incompetency for the elderly (2) Deeper still, seems to me a lot of people in America has trouble with death and dying. Several years ago, my father died of lung cancer. I only got to visit him once, for a week. We arranged for a limited power of attorney to try to get the finances in shape, but I wasn't able to accomplish everything he wished for me. He wanted to make sure I had a legacy from him. I wasn't able to visit him one more time to tell him what his real legacy he left behind was. My sister is an MD, and arranged for an in-home care. She financially took care of my parents even before my dad died -- bought a car for him to drive, bought a fridge for my mom to replace that crusty old thing, paying gas bill because my mother insists on keeping the house at 50F to save on money. I don't think either my sister or I consider that heroic. It's just the thing to do. |