| I'm a similar person. >So I'm on the austism spectrum... I also suffer from depression... I still have noticeable anxiety in social situations, and I tend to avoid them whenever I can... Is this self-diagnosed or do you have a formal diagnosis from a clinician? I would recommend getting a formal diagnosis if you don't have one, as it offers you certain legal protections and opens some options for help. All of the things that you describe are well known syndromes and are, to varying degrees, treatable. I recommend seeking a psychiatrist / therapist at a teaching hospital, if you can, as you have a better chance of getting higher quality care. >I've spent my whole life trying and failing to start my own thing so I can get away from people... Aside from a few extraordinary talented individuals, the day of the solitary hacker is over; software engineering is a team sport. What worked for me is to: 1) Accept that you're not going to fit socially in the way that normal people do. Aloofness, as long as it's not taken to extremes, is actually OK. 2) Find professional aspects that you are willing to work extra hard in in that others will value, e.g. hard working, willing to take on dirty jobs, or developing a technical specialty. People are willing to forgive your social limitations if you are of value and not otherwise unpleasant to be around. 3) (The following is going to sound extremely weird to people not suffering from autism.) Develop an synthetic set of social behaviors that cater to your limitations. For example, I memorize certain canned responses to use during short social interactions and use other other techniques to cut the interaction short if needed to in order to prevent awkwardness from arising. |
I was tested for Austin when I was younger and I was told I was on the spectrum. I was offered extra help in school and all that, but I always refused it because I figured I'd never get that same help in real life, and it was probably better just to work twice as hard. For the same reason I don't care for any legal protections. I wouldn't take them even if I was offered. But I haven't been formally diagnosed with anxiety or depression. It's extremely clear to anyone who's spent time with me that I suffer from both. I just don't see the benefit of being diagnosed as I don't want any special help, or to take drugs to treat something that I don't see any a character flaw.
1. Yeah, I take pride in being a bit different. That being said, I'm very aware that going too far isn't a good thing if I still want to relate to others.
2. I guess this is really the answer I'm looking for. I don't want to be "normal", I want to be myself yet not be rejected by people professionally. I guess in reality the only way to do that is offer something special.
3. Oh man, I have so many canned responses for everything. My issue is that sometimes when I'm having a rough day I don't care enough to pretend I care about what I'm saying. I find a forced response like, "Oh wow, that sounds cool! Tell me more!" quickly becomes, "oh. Cool."