[hinkley]

I discovered cussing late in life due to my upbringing, and I've been making up for lost time ever since.

As someone once eloquently put it, trying to negotiate a compromise or agreement with someone without signalling that strong emotions are involved is a form of self censorship that is self-destructive. If the person you're talking to doesn't know how you feel about something why would they ever honor your concerns?

At about the same time I read this I was trying to reject the notion that there are magic words that can force other people into an emotional state. Why do we let other people control how we feel? That's bullshit. I am my own person and unless we're discussing a matter of public policy (you are denigrating an entire group of people on purpose or through carelessness), if what you say upsets me then that's my baggage, not yours. It would be nice if you were sympathetic, but that power dynamic needs to be broken, and pretending it doesn't exist by censoring yourself makes you an Enabler, in the language of Codependency.

It took me another ten years to realize that I still get emotionally hooked on other people's mostly innocuous word use. It's the basis of marketing and persuasive speaking, and in many ways the person swearing is being far, far more up front and honest with you about what they're trying to do to your head.