[sandworm101]

I suspect it isn't about the kids. Or even sex. I suspect it is about old people. The period of one's life during which one must take care of elderly parents and grandparents is growing. Many people of marrying age are in families with several elderly people to care for. They aren't free to move out and start their own households. If I am correct, the answer isn't more child care but more government-backed elder care.

[unsignedint]

It's probably the problem going forward than it is now. Although marrage age is increasingly older than ever, I don't think it is already to the point where large portion of people of marrying age are affected, let alone prevented to move out. Though, they are getting there, but there are a lot of direct financial and logistical impact with direct impacts.

[zhemao]

> They aren't free to move out and start their own households

Why is that a problem? You don't need to live separately from your parents or grandparents in order to get married. Multi-generational households were the norm until very recently. Also, given that the elderly are much healthier now than in the past, they may not need as much care.

[sandworm101]

What is new is that the elder people now need a greater level of care, for a more protracted period. That's new. In the past people who couldn't care for themselves rarely lived more than a decade. Now it is not unusual for such a person to live many decades. It isn't everyone, nor all old people, but it is a rare family that doesn't have a grandparent in need of 24/7 presence. The primary carer then needs relief. So you've got at least two or three people who are not able to alter their living situations without 'abandoning' the elderly relative.

Conversely in china, some young women are not getting married because they do not want to be roped into caring for their in-laws too. One of my Chinese students admitted that she was desperate not to return to china after graduation for fear of being locked into caring for her grandmother. Should she marry here, she would then be under pressure to have her grandmother move in. Her goal was to stay single and in school as long as possible. It's harsh, but she didn't want to be married so long as her grandmother was still alive. Marriage to a Chinese boy would only compound the problem as he would likely be in the same boat.

[CyberDildonics]

If you are already a virgin, don't you think it might be a difficult road to get to being a parent when your elderly parents are living with you in a tiny cramped house?

[ptaipale]

On the other hand, when the Japanese had more children, they also took care of elderly parents and maybe had even less space and privacy in their dwellings.