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by 64ec39bda1 3567 days ago
I have nearly 8 years of being a professional developer. I didn't graduate, and got into the industry while in college before dropping out. So there are some differences between us in years in the industry and educational credentials.

First quarter 2016, I was laid off from my job as the first engineer/tech lead of a small startup. I have been searched ever since then, and your experience mirrors mine exactly. I have been on over 25 in person interviews and gone through untold degrading whiteboard interviews, code tests, trick questions, and take home projects; all have ended in rejection. This industry has a need to torture candidates because we are all considered to be liars by default.

Much is said about combating impostor syndrome in ourselves but we are too eager to cultivate it in others. It seems people in this industry refuse to understand that some people are not perfect. I never graduated college because I hated it with the very fiber of my being, so I am, like you, not particularly great at white boarding answers to algorithm questions off the top of my head in a high pressure environment. If I need them during my job, I look up answers and learn from people who are much smarter than I am.

My personal identity has been shattered, as I thought my ~5-10 year history of success in the industry indicated I was in demand and talented. I saw posts like this and thought that if the worst happened I'd still be able to find a job. The idea that there is a talent shortage is a lie, or candidates like me wouldn't be treated as I have been. I'm not asking for a free job, or a handout, or a huge salary. I have had a successful career so far and am capable of doing good work.

I have struggled with bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation most of my life. I've dealt with the death of beloved family members and pets over the past two years with only minor lapses in control. Nothing has caused me to consider taking my own life as much as the past 6 months. It seems there is no future for me in the only career I have any skill in and which is a huge part of my identity. And to constantly be told that there is such a shortage of engineers only salts the wound.

If you are expecting things to get better with experience, they won't. It's up to you to decide if you can take the mental strain of continuing in an industry with such inhumane hiring practices.

2 comments

I have to agree with you here. My contract ended last February. Since then I have applied to over 220 jobs. 2 in 3 don't even bother to reply. As for the rest, you get a rejection letter, or, if you're lucky, an interview. I've been through a number of prolonged interview rounds with a coupla dozen of companies since then. You know the drill... interview with recruiter, more interviews with technical people, programming tests, even more interviews, etc. It seems everybody wants to copy Google's process nowadays.

None of these have panned out, they did however waste a lot of my time. But the worst thing is how useless the whole process makes you feel. I have a lot of experience, but that doesn't seem to count for anything in today's industry. Also, you get no feedback, so it's basically a black box that you put effort in, and then you're left guessing where you failed and what you did wrong. Study up on the things you didn't know enough of? Sure, except the market is so extremely fragmented that every company wants a different set of skills and technologies. (A while ago I counted the number of different technologies asked for in one of the "who is hiring?" threads. I stopped when I reached 200.)

After spending months trying to get a job in this kind of environment (with no unemployment or disability, so there is a lot of pressure), it becomes really hard NOT to feel like a complete failure. Apparently I can't even get a mediocre job. And at the same time you keep seeing persistent rumors that there is a high demand for software developers. Companies supposedly have trouble finding them. If that was really the case, why do they make it crazy hard to get hired? In actuality, many companies mention that they get an overwhelming number of replies, which seems to be more in line with their behavior.

what area were you applying in? Maybe its just an isolated geographic incident.
Most of the jobs I apply for are remote, so all over the US (and a few outside of it). That does mean that a significant chunk is in Silicon Valley. I apply for local jobs as well but there are not that many, and the turnout has been even worse.
I can only suggest you change your situation for the better. I don't have a perfect answer for how, of course, but consider:

- moving state or abroad, to somewhere less pressured and competitive

- changing industry, at a push, if there's anything else you like to do

- working remotely for less salary but hopefully less stress

A career is not worth a life. There is so much more to living than what can be seen in a screen. Find someone to talk to. Contact me, if you want. I can only offer an ear, but details in profile.