[redleggedfrog]

"My current target is a role at one of the "big four" tech companies or a high-quality startup doing either webdev or infrastructure engineering"

Yup, I'd say if that's your goal, then you're not cut out for it.

That's like saying you want to get into stock car racing because you want to hang out with Danica Patrick. You're doing it for the wrong reasons.

You have to love it for the joy it gives you to learn it and use it. Otherwise you won't spend the necessary time to be truly good at it.