[forgottenpass]

I guess I'm fortunate never to have worked with the kind of people [...] who would notice I'm upset and tell me to "smile."

It's not only some demanding command to modify your mood, it can be a good natured suggestion to try and keep your chin up. The person who said it to me most was my mother.

[justin66]

> The person who said it to me most was my mother.

Wow. If you're curious as to why some view it as a condescending thing to say to a colleague you really could start there.

edit: I'm surprised by your reply... only because it seems incongruous with the statement I replied to. interesting.

[forgottenpass]

edit: I'm surprised by your reply... only because it seems incongruous with the statement I replied to. interesting.

Just because people were well-intentioned didn't make it any less infuriating. I've gotten it in the "cheer up" sense and the "be more presentable" sense and the "comply with norms" sense. Not a huge difference in how it feels, non family ones are a bit easier though.