[brianwawok]

True. But they really do want you if they made an offer. I have never heard of someone asking for 5k more get their offer yanked, but I know people afraid to ask for that reason.

The exact # they lose if you say no isn't the point. You are the top choice. Doesn't mean they will double your offer but they do like you.

[shostack]

Try speaking to more non engineers. Not being snarky, but this is only applicable to professions that are in hot demand. But that should go without saying.

[35bge57dtjku]

I have had success with asking for modest increases. I think it helps to have a good reason, like them not doing any 401k matching.

[ryanmccullagh]

Is the median salary for the position a valid reason for an increase? For example 93000 is the median for software engineers in US according to the government.

[35bge57dtjku]

I wouldn't specify 'median' exactly. That sounds too technical - it doesn't have the same innocence and emotional appeal. I'd mention what other local companies are hiring for the same position at, and mention being surprised they aren't offering at least that. Or mention having friends that got hired for the same position at a salary that's 10k more than you're being offered. If you do it smoothly, I think the worst case scenario should be that they say they can't go any higher, or that they come back with a higher offer that's only 1/2 or 1/4 more than what you mentioned. Like Sun Tzu said, don't corner the enemy.

[AstralStorm]

Replace median with typical and you're set. The only way to weasel out of that is to show you're below average. Now then, any kind of negotiation is risky for obvious reasons.

[windowsworkstoo]

Anything that works is a valid reason....don't overthink it.

[lostboys67]

Depends on location the Valley or NYC has high housing costs