[neilk]

As for your concern that other people "seem fine"; how many people in your life know how badly you're hurting? I bet you're doing a good job of keeping up appearances. Well, so are a lot of other people. So, of your worries, you can eliminate the one where you're worried that you're alone or self-indulgent or otherwise unusual.

I wish I had some concrete advice for you. A psychologist may be able to help, but don't fall into the trap of focusing too much on how you feel. You have to also focus on who you are. At the very least, it sounds like you don't quite know yourself.

I am interested by the fact that you have a block about trying new things, when it's the one thing you should be doing to figure out where your talents should be applied. Perhaps you should talk that over with a psychologist.