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I'm 28, own successful businesses and have plowed this ground. These aren't going to be standard answers, but its what has helped me. YMMV. 1. Get in a situation where you can balls out fight. I prefer jiu-jitsu but did TKD for a while too. We live in a controlled, over analyzed society. You talked about going to a shrink. That's valid but consider the alternative - you are so controlled and repressed that what you need is to get on the mat with someone else and just struggle/wrestle/fight. You'll know inside 1 minute if this is what was lacking. If its wrong, you are bruised but only out a free class. 2. Plant roots, literally. I live in suburbia. A little "grow your own veggie by the window" kit was more depressing than fulfilling. I'm not sure what it was, but something inside me snapped. One too many fake plastic meals out perhaps. I bought $1000 worth of dirt and had it dropped on my driveway. I went to home depot and with the help of my lovely wife, measured out and bought wood and stakes. I worked all weekend outside, in the sun, in the rain, hauling dirt, figuring out how to plant stuff without killing it (mixed initial results). It was a lot of time to think. It was also hard and frankly, it was very nice to sit back down to work on redmine tickets. Best of all, a whole garden sprouted up and we had food for weeks that WE grew. Since then, my backyard has become a huge orchard as well as a home owners association show down in the making. It makes me feel connected to life and growth. It makes me feel like I stake my rugged individualist claim. Likely its more me playing in the dirt in the back yard, but it settles me down and centers me. 3. Catholic mass. I was raised Baptist and am now agnostic. As a kid, I attended three churches destroyed by infighting and backstabbing. I'm not really thrilled with Christianity, or at least Jesus's current merry band of salesmen. None the less, go sit in a Catholic mass once a month on a random week night. Its great. So peaceful. It gets you out of your shell. Best part, no baptist style "welcome the guests" stuff at most masses. Just a bunch of people running through the ancient traditions and singing nicely. I would advise you pass on the free bread and wine though, in case it turns out its all true. 4. Your Relationships. Are they solid? Are they long term oriented? I'm not sure if its a skill or a choice or what, but everyone I know that's happy is a long term relationship builder. My sincere best wishes to you. Push on! |